Yes, I know Valentine's Day has passed, but I read this article on Meridian Magazine and was impressed. The article was about choosing to love someone instead of haphazardly falling in love with someone thinking that it's out of our control. It was funny because I had talked about this previously with a friend of mine. He had proposed to his girlfriend and was telling me the story about how they met and how he felt about her. He said that when they started dating, he was going to choose to love her. I was thinking about my relationship with my boyfriend and was confused about my feelings. My friend said to me that love includes using our agency. It's something we control. I was moved by that thought.
As the article states, Hollywood likes to teach romantic notions that aren't real and makes it seem like there should be some sort of magical spark and if there isn't, then it won't work. I was watching "Sleepless in Seattle" a few months ago and wondered if Jed and I had that spark. After talking with my mom, she put away that notion. Maybe the initial spark is the mutual attraction, but the rest it up to me and my deliberate actions of choosing to love him.
I also thought about others who are around me and loving them (of course I'm not talking about just romantic love), but choosing to love them as well. I think it's difficult to make that decision. I have been lazy in the past with my relationships, especially with people who are difficult to love. I seem to think that maybe tender feelings might just come automatically and that I wouldn't have to give much of an effort. Wrong! I've seen that it's hard work. I wish that I could put more of an effort with each person I know. I have been so blessed by everyone that I know. If we can all work harder and cultivate a good relationship with everyone that we can, I think the world would be a much better place.
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